Shots...

The two month doctor's appointment...

(Tummy time)

Needles and shots...every child's (and sometimes beyond childhood) worst fear. I remember the doctor's visit that I over came my childhood fear of needles. It was in preparation for high school soccer.  I had to get a physical and some special shot that someone up in the government decided all kids should get before the enter high school. All this so I could play soccer.  I was dreading the moment. Sitting in the waiting room, biting my nails, and trying to distract myself with a gossip magazine. They called my name, and I was up.  The shot was coming, there was no turning back.  The nurse puts on her gloves and unwraps the needle.  My deltoid flexes as she wipes me with the cold alcohol pad. "It's easier if you loosen up." she says. Easy for her to say since she is the one holding the needle. But I do as I'm told, I feel a pinch, and that was it.  It was over. I barely felt a thing.  My fear of needles was conquered as a teen.

Now it was time for me to watch my little girl get shots.  This thought came to me the day before the appointment and my heart filled with anxiety for Julia. We had to watch her get a heel prick a month or so back and it hurt my heart to see her cry in pain....given the delayed reaction was pretty funny, it was still hard to see her in pain. The night before her shooting appointment, I had a dream.  I can't remember all of the details, but it was something along the line of me jumping in front of Julia and taking the shot for her.  Oh how I wished that they could give me the shot and it would transfer to her via feeding. The time for the shooting appointment arrived.  I was sweaty-palmed in the waiting room as Julia just sat the joyfully looking around the room with her big bright eyes.  "She has no idea what's coming," I mentioned to Tyrel.  He of course told me I was more worried about this than she was and that she would forget about it soon after it happens.  I knew he was right, but I still dreaded the moment of hearing her cry.

When it came time for the shots, they put the first one in, delayed reaction, scream, no breath, two more shots, take a big breath, more screaming....hand her over to mom. I felt pangs of hurt in my heart for Julia, but her pain did not last long.  It wasn't even a minute before she stopped crying. What a champ!  The rest of the day she was very groggy and fussy, and not herself at all.  But now she is back to normal.

It was an interesting experience seeing Julia get her shots.  Much different than Henry's kindergarten shots story. But I learned something from the feelings I had that day. I wanted to take Julia's pain from her, but I couldn't. It was something she had to go through in order to be protected and stronger later on. The same is true with Heavenly Father in regards to me. He loves me so much, and doesn't want to see me hurt, but sometimes I need it. I now understand why people say you gain a greater understanding of God's love for you once you have your own children. I love Julia with a unique kind of love that can only be understood when you have your own children.  Basically, all I'm trying to say with this post is being a mom is awesome....even though you have to see your little one in pain sometimes.