One Year Down...many more to come

For those of you who were not aware, Tyrel and I had our first anniversary on Sunday. We may not have done much to celebrate, but there is a certain peace that I feel within me now that we have overcome the first year hurdle. This alone causes a quiet, yet roaring celebration in my heart. This first year threw things at me that I had never expected. It was hard, dang hard, but I would not change it for anything. I refer to my first year of marriage as the refiner's fire. I share with you now a story I heard at devotional once about the refiner's fire. It's about a woman who was studying the book of Malachi and came across the verse "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." She decided to visit a silver smith and observe:

As she watched the silver smith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot--then she thought again about the verse, that he sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.
She asked the silver smith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silver smith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy--when I see my image in it."

While I do not feel that I am to the point where the Lord can see His image perfectly in me, I know that He put me in this fire...right smack dab in the middle! I will admit that there were times when I felt that He wasn't near me, keeping His constant eye on me, but I know now that He was there all along. I have no doubt about it. Me feeling like He had left me was all a part of the plan to humble me and help me hit my knees a little harder.

I am a different person than I was a year ago. My understanding of life and what it is truly important has become much more clear (although I'm sure it is still foggy considering only one year has gone by). I loved Tyrel a year ago, but the love I have for him now is different. I'm starting to understand why there are so many songs and poems about how people love each other more and more as they go through out life. At least that is the goal I suppose. Of course, in my opinion the love doesn't just grow bigger, it changes. If I were a poet or some sort of amazing writer I would be able to explain what it is that I feel in my heart. But I'm not, so hopefully you can just understand without having it explained.

Aside from the hard times, Tyrel and I had it pretty good this year! We went on quite a few fun times...Disneyland, Trek, Fish Lake, one week of being a counselor, Amy's house, Grandma and Grandpa's property with Ryan and Lisa, Rigby Lake dutch oven, Thanksgiving and Christmas with the families, spending time with Clint and Abby and watching their kids, dinners with Brian and Kayla, watching about a hundred movies, visiting 8 different temples, and other things I'm forgetting that are probably really important fun times that I will be given a hard time for forgetting.

So...to this last year I say thank you. Thanks for kinda beating me up at times, making me laugh at other times, and helping me to learn valuable lessons every day. You will be missed I am sure--the naivete of your first married year only happens once--but I am not sad to see you put in the past. I look forward to the future and what it holds for Tuzi. Who knows, maybe by the end of the next year there will be a third member in the Tuzi party. Or not... We will see. (this is not in any way meant to be any sort of clue hinting at anything)

Thanks for reading this long post. I write it in part as a therapeutic sort of thing for me. It's good to reflect back and see how blessed you are. I'm sure many of you know what I mean.

Love you all!